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Hayden averted his eyes, his face flushing visibly. Are you saying& you like my size? You have a body that s just made to be worshipped, Josh murmured reverently, unable to keep his feelings on the matter to himself. Funny, Hayden replied slowly, as if considering the matter. That s exactly what I always thought about your body. Hotness incarnate, I remember that s how I used to think of it. Hayden drew circles on the table with his fingertip, keeping his gaze down. Well, how I used to think of you, actually. Every time I got around you, just one look and I was like, I don t know, in heat or something. Josh cleared his throat, desperate to know if he had any hope of reclaiming that affection and desire. And& now? he asked, his voice husky as it ever got. What do you think now, Hayden? Without any warning, Hayden s rich blue gaze lifted, locking with Josh s. Then, Hayden s black lashes lowered slightly, so that he stared up at Josh through them, an absolutely sensual expression on his face. Isn t it obvious? Hayden s lashes lowered a little more, creating the most utterly fuckable expression that Josh had ever seen on any person s face male or female. Wasn t it always obvious, that sexed-up reaction you got out of me? An absurd case of shyness swamped Josh in all of a second. He just sat there like some sort of mute, rubbing his neck and grinning like a fool. Well, and feeling his balls draw tight like they were winding up for a very fast pitch, with his hard-on offering itself as the required bat. Finally, a semblance of Josh s mind returned, and he cleared his throat. So, uh, let s talk about this elders thing. Hayden frowned back in silent reply; it was absolutely the most dumbass topic Josh could ve possibly raised. But, despite his desire to drag Hayden back to his big ole bed, it was too soon to try something so blatant, and the truth was, Josh had to keep their process moving forward. Was it your idea? Hayden asked him, point-blank. 50 www.samhainpublishing.com Bound by Nature When Josh didn t answer at first, Hayden scowled. Cause, I already told you, buddy, it wasn t mine. I m well aware you didn t come up with the plan, Josh said, shifting his chair so he was facing Hayden better. So it was yours? Hayden persisted. Josh smiled sadly. No, it really was all theirs, he admitted. But I would have come for you in the next few months anyway. Hayden cocked his head, clearly taken aback. Why? I mean, after all this time, you were planning to look me up& or something? Yes, in another eight months. That actually was my timetable. Josh flinched, thinking of the two men who had wanted to hurt his lover. I don t understand, Hayden answered, brushing long fingers through his hair with an absent gesture. Eight months? It would have been almost six years since& I mean, what would have been the point, all this time later? We never even had much, Josh. Hayden leaned back in his chair, intelligent gaze trained on him, and Josh could practically see the man s keen mind shifting puzzle pieces, trying to see where this conversation was leading. Hayden continued, voice intense. Why were you even still thinking about me after all this time? Why would you have a plan an actual timeframe for coming to see me? We didn t have a real relationship, nothing. Without meaning to, Josh balled his hands into fists right there on the table. No choice& before, he managed to half-growl in reply. Slowly, Josh forced himself to relax his hands, to release the coiled fury that often overcame him when he remembered what had been done to Hayden. What were you thinking of just then? Hayden asked, watching as Josh s fists flexed and relaxed and flexed again. Why d you get so upset? How did it relate to this timetable of yours? Josh s entire body grew taut, with him as on edge as he ever got in the thick of the hunt. Lowering his head in wolfish intent, he growled like the natural born predator he was. Hayden jerked back in his own chair, instinctively responding to the challenge of another Alpha. Hayden s eyes flashed and then narrowed, his shoulders hunched forward, and he looked about ready to lunge when Josh released an anguished, soulful cry. They wanted to hurt you. I couldn t let them do that. I-I didn t& couldn t. Josh felt the tears he d kept inside for so many years tighten his throat, but he refused to cry in front of Hayden especially when he considered how much more his lover had endured. I did everything in my power, Hayden, he said finally, not daring to look into the other man s eyes. To keep them from hurting you. From killing you, like they wanted to do. www.samhainpublishing.com 51 Cooper Davis Hayden was out of his chair and squatting beside Josh faster than any natural motion should have catapulted him. He reached for Josh s hand, seizing it with preternatural strength. He clutched it, staring up into Josh s anguished eyes. The ruined, broken look in them struck a chord, something familiar that Hayden couldn t recall, but which intensified the headache pounding behind his eyes. Joshua, he said, keeping his voice as steady as he could, tell me who wanted to hurt me. Tell me what you re talking about. Josh shook his head slightly, staring glassy-eyed across the room. It kills me that you don t remember. Then he glanced down at Hayden. Would you believe that all these years, some part of me really thought you knew. That you understood why I stayed away. Josh s voice broke and he scrubbed a hand across his eyes. I hoped that at least you might have remembered what happened between us. Hayden felt the floor beneath him nearly sway. Tell me what I don t remember. Josh buried his face in trembling hands. There s just too much, he argued. Too much fucked up shit that came right after. I don t want you to know all of it. Hayden stood and, moving behind Josh s chair, bent low, wrapping his arms about the other man like a healing web of protection. I m here now, and I need to know. When Josh remained quiet, Hayden could hardly bear the silence. At least tell me what happened between us, then, he urged. Josh slid warm fingers up the length of Hayden s forearms, stroking him with more tenderness than Hayden had ever imagined Josh felt for him. Hasn t the timeline of the accident seemed off to you? Wrong somehow? It s& Hayden felt like he was trying to pierce a dark, murky haze. He d been in a coma for six weeks after the wreck, and the time in the courtroom, all of it had been a fog for him, his mind not fully recovered it never had healed like it should, or he wouldn t have a giant blank canvas staring him in the eyes. Josh squeezed his arms, turning his strong jaw against Hayden s shoulder. We went out for beers on the twenty-ninth of December, right? By the time we took our run, then shared that Josh hesitated, then continued in a quieter voice, that sweet kiss, it was the early hours of December thirtieth. When we [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |
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