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caught a glimpse of a narrow, glittering beach. I could almost feel the sand between my toes as I ran, and twin suns beating down on my back. Did you ever get homesick there? I asked him, not quite able to meet his eyes. Every day, he said. He hooked his thumbs over the waistband of his pants and his briefs. My face burned as he bent over and shoved them down. I d seen him naked before, but this was different. The first few times I d seen him as a patient. After that, when we d showered together, maybe I d thought about sex given the dreams we shared, it was impossible not to but this was the first time I d seen him undress for that purpose. It felt momentous. You re not gay, my brain reminded me, but it wasn t an objection, exactly. It was more of a question I couldn t properly finish: Not gay, so why does he make me hard? Not gay, so why do I want him? Not gay, so why can t I take my eyes off him? Not gay, but I don t care. Cam stepped into the shower and turned the water on, and I watched the way it ran over him, slipping down the lean shape of his body in glistening paths, discovering every curve, every angle, every dip. The water made him shine. He bowed his head under the showerhead, and water ran off the wet twists of his hair. He stepped free and shook his head like a dog drying itself. A corona of light exploded around his head like a halo, and then he ran his hands over his hair to get rid of the rest of the water. His biceps bulged when he did that. I could see the muscles tightening under his tanned skin. Muscle, ligament, muscle, contracting and expanding. It was like one of those illustrations in Doc s dog-eared copy of Gray s Anatomy, intricate and beautiful. Miraculous. I slipped my underwear off and tried not to feel like a skinny kid in comparison. Dad once said I was still growing into myself, but that was three years ago now when I sent him a picture of me wearing a uniform that was way too big. I d looked twelve instead of sixteen. Maybe I d grown into myself since then, when nobody was paying attention. I guess my uniform didn t hang off me like it used to. I guess I d filled out a bit. Cam seemed to like what he saw. He smiled at me and held out his hand. I swallowed. Couldn t believe I was going to do this. Couldn t believe I wanted to. His hand caught mine: electricity, dizziness, and expectation. Close your eyes, Brady, Cam said and drew me into the shower. Holy fuck. He touched his lips against mine in a featherlight kiss, and my heart skipped a beat. Was this what I wanted, or was I only feeling his desire? Shit, did it even matter? Here in this moment I wanted it. I wanted it enough not to worry about how I would feel in the morning. I had a little over a week to live, a little over a week until the Faceless killed us all. Fuck regret. You re like starlight, Cam whispered, and his teeth scraped up my jaw. I shivered. I could lose myself in you. My cock was already hard. So was his. It jutted into my hip, and I thought I d hate it. Didn t. It felt fucking hot. More than that, it felt right. I wished there was some way I could tell him that. I groaned instead, as his mouth found my pulse point. I dug my fingers into his shoulders. I m not clever, Cam. Don t have clever words or nice things to whisper like you. But I want you. I know, he whispered. He leaned back and cupped my face in his hands. He showed me a crooked smile. And you re smarter than you think. Whatever, LT, I said, tilting my head up for another kiss. Let s just do this, and save the fucking pep talk for later. He laughed, blinking water out of his eyes. I was nervous now, as scared as all hell. There was a lump in my throat that I couldn t seem to swallow away. I liked Cam and I wanted him, but I didn t know what to do. In my dreams I knew, but this was real. I d never done anything like this, and I was afraid of my inexperience. Cam ran a hand over my head, his palm scraping against my prickly scalp. He smiled. You d look even hotter if you could grow your hair, Brady. I made a face. His green gaze met mine. You can t take a compliment, can you? I didn t like the intensity of his scrutiny. It s never really come up before, LT. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. Don t be that guy with me, Brady. What guy? I breathed. He pushed me backward gently, until my back met the wall. His cock was still pressing into my hip, and now the rest of him was as well. Skin-on-skin contact, just like we both needed. One hand stroked my neck. The other one moved down my chest. The smart-ass, he said. He leaned in and kissed me again. He caught my lower lip in his teeth and nipped gently, and I groaned. Don t be him, because I don t need him interrupting when I tell you that you re a decent guy, and you re smart, and you re fucking hot. A shiver ran through me as his hand slipped down my flank. Hot? I asked, screwing up my nose. He was right; I couldn t take a compliment. Yeah, he murmured. Any other guy and I d think you were fishing, but you don t even know it, do you? Heat rose in me, and it had nothing to do with the water temperature. Nobody had ever called me hot before, and I wasn t arrogant enough to think it myself. There were guys on Defender Three who thought they were all that, but they were all big, ripped gym junkies, and everyone laughed at them. No fucking point being God s gift to women on a space station, right? Dicks. I was nothing special: I was too pale since coming to Defender Three, and I had dark eyes. I looked like one of those pinky-gray geckos that lived behind the picture frames in my dad s house pallid, furtive, and with big eyes. But I guess I wasn t ugly. With a bit of sun I might look half-decent. I just never thought I was anything special. Not until Cam told me I was. I leaned my head back so Cam s lips could find my pulse point again. I liked that. Maybe. You are, Cam said, his hand edging toward my pulsing cock. You make me so hard, Brady. Another flush of heat burned through me. This was definitely uncharted territory. I liked that he said that, but it was weird as well. Everything about this was weird, but not weird enough to make me want to stop. Not once Cam curled his fingers around my cock, anyway. Fuck, Cam! I exclaimed. I jerked in his grasp, cracking my head against the shower wall. Ow! Are you okay? he asked, releasing my cock and drawing me forward. He bit his lip like he was trying not to laugh. Brady? I rubbed the back of my head, embarrassed. Yeah, I m fine. Sorry. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |
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