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made supper last night. I roll my eyes. Of course he did. So tell me, sugar. You think this en is the one? I sigh and sling my bag over my shoulder. I think she is, but I m afraid I ll hurt her in the end, so I left before things get to serious. Eve frowns, deepening the wrinkles around her mouth. Baby, you can t let things like that hold you back from true love. If I d been afraid of love, I would ve never had forty long years with my Bernie. God rest his soul. I know she s trying to make me feel better, but right now all I want to do is sleep. I place my hand on her shoulder and give it a gentle pat. I m going to hit the hay, Eve. I ll see you in the morning. I walk back to my room and glance around. It s just as I left it. My king-sized bed sits in the middle with a gray comforter and matching pillows. All my books and records neatly line the bookcase on the far end of the room by my computer. I don t spend much time in here, so I haven t really personalized it too much. The only picture I have in here is on my nightstand of Hailey and Mom. Up until now, they were the only people that mattered to me other than my bandmates. Aubrey has done a number of fucking with my head and stirring up emotions in me that I don t like facing. I flop onto my bed and close my eyes and let sleep take me away from everything. **** Trip kicks the edge of my bed. Get up, jackass. I m tired of you mopping around her like a lazy alcoholic. Eve s says she s not going to bring your meals in here anymore, so you better get up and get ready to be fucking social. I toss a pillow at him and pull the blankets over my head. Fuck you, dude. Leave me alone. He yanks my covers off. You ve been locked up in here three days now drinking yourself into oblivion. You need to fix this shit. I can t! Why doesn t he let me be? You can! Here. He tosses my cell onto the bed next to me. Call her. No. He folds his arms. Do it or I m dragging your ass into the shower myself and hosing that stink off you. God! I snatch the phone up and search out her number. You re annoying as fuck. Trip smirks but doesn t make a move to leave until he hears Aubrey answer. Hey, I say. It s me. Satisfied with himself, Trip laughs as he shuts my door on his way out and I flip him the finger. What happened to you? Did you leave because of what I said in the bar? Yes, I answer honestly. I m not ready for that. She sighs into the phone. I get that. I really do, but you should ve told me that instead of sneaking out in the middle of the night so you didn t have to face me like a coward. She s right. Leaving like that was the biggest pussy move in the world to pull. If I were man enough, I would ve stayed and told her how I felt instead of doing what I did. You re right and I m sorry for that. You deserve better. Actually you deserve better than me period. That s why I left. When you say shit like that it s crazy. I hate when you talk down about yourself like this. Your parents fucked you up. You are capable of love, Zach. You have to open up and let me in. You can t keep blaming yourself for your mom and sister s death. They have nothing to do with the way I feel about you, I growl. I m no good for you. Don t say that, she cries. I m not, Aubrey. I always ruin everything and hurt the people I love most. If I let myself love you, I ll let you down. I know it, and that will fucking kill me. I m barely holding on to a string as it is. I can t take one more person that I love hating me. I don t think I ll make it. That ll never happen. I rub my forehead. She s not going to give up unless I make her. It already has. What do you mean? she questions. I ve moved on, okay. I found a couple chicks last night and brought them back to my place so I can forget about you and how you fucked with my head. She s quiet for a moment and then I hear her sniff on the other line. I pull the phone away from my mouth and stare up at the ceiling cursing myself for being an evil bastard and making her cry. So, like I said. I m no good. It s best we split now before I actually feel something for you. We re no good for each other. Okay, she answers with a shaky voice before she hangs up on me. I throw my cell against the wall, watching it shatter into a million tiny pieces, and hating every inch of myself. AUBREY The last few days I ve thrown myself into my work. With Lanie gone I find myself working and sleeping with not much else in between. I have nothing else here in the city. Not even my long-distance rocker any more. I should ve listened to my head instead of following my dumbass heart and falling in love with a man I knew was [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |
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