, Lois McMaster Bujold 02 Shards Of Honor 

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Vortala smiled at her, and Vorkosigan yielded, reluctantly. They returned to
his bedroom to dress, Cordelia in her most formal afternoon wear, Vorkosigan
in the dress greens he had not worn since their wedding.
"Why so jumpy?" asked Cordelia. "Maybe he just wants to bid you farewell or
something."
"We're talking about a man who can make even his own death serve his political
purposes, remember? And if there's some way to govern Barrayar from beyond the
grave, you can bet he's figured it out. I've never come out ahead on any
dealing I've ever had with him."
On that ambiguous note they joined the Prime Minister for the flight back to
Vorbarr Sultana.
The Imperial Residence was an old building, almost a museum piece, thought
Cordelia, as they climbed the worn granite steps to its east portico. The long
facade was heavy with stone carving, each figure an individual work of art,
the aesthetic opposite of the modern, faceless Ministry buildings rising a
kilometer or two to the east.
They were ushered into a room half hospital, half antique display. Tall
windows looked out on the formal gardens and lawns to the north of the
Residence. The room's principal inhabitant lay in a huge carved bed inherited
from some splendor-minded ancestor, his body pierced in a dozen places by the
utilitarian plastic tubes that kept him alive this day.
Ezar Vorbarra was the whitest man Cordelia had ever seen, as white as his
sheets, as white as his hair. His skin was white and wrinkled over his sunken
cheeks. His eyelids were white, heavy and hooded over hazel eyes whose like
she had seen once before, dimly in a mirror. His hands were white, with blue
veins standing up on their backs. His teeth, when he spoke, were ivory yellow
against their bloodless backdrop.
Vortala and Vorkosigan, and after an uncertain beat Cordelia, went down on one
knee beside the bed. The Emperor waved his attendant physician out of the room
with a little effortful jerk of one finger. The man bowed and left. They
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stood, Vortala rather stiffly.
"So, Aral," said the Emperor. "Tell me how I look."
"Very ill, sir."
Vorbarra chuckled, and coughed. "You refresh me. First honest opinion I've
heard from anyone in weeks. Even Vortala beats around the bush." His voice
cracked, and he cleared his throat of phlegm. "Pissed away the last of my
melanin last week. That damned doctor won't let me out into my garden anymore
during daylight." He snorted, for disapproval or breath. "So this is your
Betan, eh? Come here, girl."
Cordelia approached the bed, and the white old man stared into her face, hazel
eyes intent. "Commander Illyan has told me of you. Captain Negri, too. I've
seen all your Survey records, you know. And that astonishing flight of fancy
of your psychiatrist's.
Negri wanted to hire her, just to generate ideas for his section. Vorkosigan,
being Vorkosigan, has told me much less." He paused, as if for breath. "Tell
me quite truly, now-what do you see in him, a broken-down, ah, what was that
phrase? Hired killer?"
"Aral has told you something, it seems," she said, startled to hear her own
words in his mouth. She stared back at him with equal curiosity. The question
seemed to demand an honest answer, and she struggled to frame it.
"I suppose-I see myself. Or someone like myself. We're both looking for the
same thing. We call it by different names, and look in different places. I
believe he calls it honor. I guess I'd call it the grace of God. We both come
up empty, mostly."
"Ah, yes. I recall from your file that you are some sort of theist," said the
Emperor. "I am an atheist, myself. A simple faith, but a great comfort to me,
in these last days."
"Yes, I have often felt the pull of it myself."
"Hm." He smiled at that. "A very interesting answer, in light of what
Vorkosigan said about you."
"What was that, sir?" asked Cordelia, her curiosity piqued.
"You must get him to tell you. It was in confidence. Very poetic, too. I was
surprised." He waved her away, as if satisfied, and motioned Vorkosigan
closer. Vorkosigan stood in a kind of aggressive parade rest. His mouth was
sardonic but his eyes, Cordelia saw, were moved.
"How long have you served me, Aral?" asked the Emperor.
"Since my commission, twenty-six years. Or do you mean body and blood?"
"Body and blood. I always counted it from the day old Yuri's death squad slew
your mother and uncle. The night your father and Prince Xav came to me at
Green Army Headquarters with their peculiar proposition. Day One of Yuri
Vorbarra's Civil War.
Why is it never called Piotr Vorkosigan's Civil War, I wonder? Ah, well. How
old were you?"
"Eleven, sir."
"Eleven. I was just the age you are now. Strange. So body and blood you have
served me-damn, you know this thing is starting to affect my brain, now..."
"Thirty-three years, sir."
"God. Thank you. Not much time left."
From the cynical expression on his face Cordelia gathered that Vorkosigan was
not in the least convinced of the Emperor's self-proclaimed senility.
The old man cleared his throat again. "I always meant to ask what you and old
Yuri said to each other, that day two years later when we finally butchered
him in that old castle. I've developed a particular interest in Emperors' last
words, lately. Count
Vorhalas thought you were playing with him."
Vorkosigan's eyes closed briefly, in pain or memory. "Hardly. Oh, I thought I
was eager for the first cut, until he was stripped and held before me. Then-I
had this impulse to strike suddenly at his throat, and end it cleanly, just be
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done with it."
The Emperor smiled sourly, eyes closed. "What a riot that would have started."
"Mm. I think he knew by my face I was funking out. He leered at me. 'Strike,
little boy. If you dare while you wear my uniform. My uniform on a child.'
That was all he said. I said, 'You killed all the children in that room,'
which was fatuous, but it was the best I could come up with at the time, then
took my cut out of his stomach. I often wished I'd said-said something else,
later. But mostly I wished I'd had the guts to follow my first Impulse."
"You looked pretty green, out on the parapet in the rain."
"He'd started screaming by then. I was sorry my hearing had come back."
The Emperor sighed. "Yes, I remember."
"You stage-managed it." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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